Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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