He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
