She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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