if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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