After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
