i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
