Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
