she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
NoShamevember. You game?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
