He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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