These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
