haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
