I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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