Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
