You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
