After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
