I'm really into asian looking animals
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
