ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
