Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Randomize
