tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
