We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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