I murdered the dance floor call the cops
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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