His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
