10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize