I wish my penis had an off switch
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
