I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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