Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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