honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
