Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
