was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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