Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
