I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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