I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
