No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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