He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
