physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can I color on your dick again?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
