Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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