Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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