my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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