I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
