just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
