Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
