You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
