Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
