do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
