Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He has the fingertips of a God
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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