At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
