keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
