I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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