So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
