I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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