Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
