woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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