nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize