That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
