some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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