Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize