pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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