He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
