Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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