We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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