Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
