he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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